Episode 17 - Days of Storm

This week the LSQ Movie Review is coming at you with a full boat and a one-two punch, Schwez misses an opportunity to make a new friend, Cory flip-flops... again, Joe's a dirty tracer, Schwez and Joe find a new obsession, Joe debuts his Batman voice, Cory throws down the gauntlet, the Crew misidentifies Captain Hook, Joe goes Post-Traumatic Stress on Schwez, Cory needs to watch the Mission: Impossible movies again, Schwez wants to see a movie that sounds suspiciously like Red Dawn, Cory reveals his true colors, Joe quotes Thomas Jefferson by way of Ed Harris in The Rock, Cory enacts a ban-hammer, Joe defends subtitles, Schwez corks Woody Harrelson, and Joe forgets his mic.

3:03 - She's Out of My League
28:12 - Green Zone
Trailer Spotlight
1:07:04 - A Nightmare on Elm Street
1:13:12 - Solomon Kane
1:18:31 - Defendor
1:23:30 - The Losers

Thanks to this week's sponsor Massive Dynamic. Visit massivedynamic.com for more information.

Link Dump
A Nightmare on Elm Street
Solomon Kane trailer
Defendor trailer
The Losers trailer

You can e-mail the show at lsqpodcast@gmail.com, follow us on Twitter at @LSQPodcast, and read our blog at lsqpodcast.blogspot.com.

Theme song:
New Found Glory - King of Wishful Thinking

Opening song:
Weezer - (If You're Wondering if I Want You To) I Want You To

LSQ's 5-Minute Fridays: Mar. 19, 2010

On this minicast from the panel of the LSQ Movie Review a special guest makes a suggestion, Joe riddles himself, Cory picks his favorite Jack Ryan, Schwez offers Cory an indecent proposal, and Hey Zeus isn't allowed to wrap up the show as the LSCrew makes a recommendation from The Bounty Hunter, Diary of a Wimpy Kid, Repo Men, and The Runaways.

Episode 16 - It was Like Robocop, Kinda...

Sickness has hit the LSCrew as Joe is M.I.A. and Hey Zeus was late getting the episode out while Schwez shows his true feelings for Joe's body, Hey Zeus delves into the archives to see how well the Crew predicted the Oscars, Cory creates his own Alice in Wonderland trailer just for Schwez, Hey Zeus finds Brooklyn's Finest's rosetta stone, Schwez explains why he never shuts up, Cory finds a way to bring up Piranha 3-D, Schwez finds a way to bring up Speed Racer, Hey Zeus tries to remind Cory who Max Headroom is, and the whole LSCrew rails against people in movie theaters without common manners and make up a Brooklyn's Finest drinking game.

5:23 - Oscar Results
15:55 - Alice in Wonderland
54:55 - Brooklyn's Finest

Thanks to this week's sponsor BlueStar Corp. Visit thebluesuncorporation.com for more information.

You can e-mail the show at lsqpodcast@gmail.com, follow us on Twitter at @LSQPodcast, and read our blog at lsqpodcast.blogspot.com.

Theme song:
New Found Glory - King of Wishful Thinking

Opening song:
Dropkick Murphys - I'm Shipping Up to Boston

LSQ's 5-Minute Fridays: Mar. 12, 2010

On this minicast from the LSQ Movie Review, Hey Zeus makes Schwez feel bad for not having a brother, Cory does his best Mario impression, and Schwez takes too long as they choose between Green Zone, Remember Me, She's Out of My League, and Our Family Wedding.

Cory vs. Concert Goers, Part 1

There’s a general rule of thumb when you’ve paid over thirty bucks to see one of your favorite or even not-so-favorite bands play their hearts out on stage: don’t be a dick. It’s fairly simple really. Someone should look into handing out complimentary "What Would Jesus Do" bracelets changed to read DBAD as a helpful reminder when tearing their tickets. Now, an astute observer would say “Hey, that helpful bracelet reminder sounds an awful lot like 'Be Bad!' Not ‘don’t be a dick!’”, and if you made that observation, well, ignore that because these people are not nearly as astute as you. *Thumbs up!* Also, if it reads DBAD, you can adjust the acronym to your liking: don’t be a douche, don’t be a dummy, don’t be a dumb-dick, etc.

I’ve been doing concert security for almost seven years and I would like to think I know what I’m doing by now. You’d be amazed at how many people would like to argue this point with me. Since I do very much know what I’m doing (and I even know what you should not be doing) I’ll take the time to make a brief guide to surviving a concert, because you, sir, don’t have a clue.

Chapter 1: The Pat Down
Almost every concert I do security for requires every single person to be frisked, which is sadly not nearly as enjoyable for me as it sounds. Go to your next rock concert in town and you’ll see what I mean. Here are the tips to making it past me as soon as you step inside the door:

A. Don’t bring weapons.
One would think weapons are obviously a very, very bad idea to bring. At which point is a knife something you absolutely need to listen to music? While I understand that in the Midwest, carrying a pocketknife is next on the checklist to have on your person (right after chewin’ tobaccie and corncob pipe) it is not recommended for a concert. I’ll take it from you because you don’t need it, so don’t get all huffy and puffy about it. You’ve had fair warning.

Not everyone brings a just a pocketknife; I’ve scored switchblades (illegal) and hunting knives longer than your favorite gay porn star (unnecessary?). While I’ve never confiscated a gun, I have taken a large lighter in the form of a revolver, and I think I did this guy a favor. I can imagine him taking that out to light a cigarette and getting tackled by nearly every security guard, police officer, and probably a few concert goers as well. You’re welcome!

B. Don’t bring drugs.
OK, this one is a little harder to enforce as people are quite clever and desperate to smoke a J at a concert. I get it. You were probably spawned in a sweaty, smoky Volkswagen van while your parents blared Hendrix; it’s in your genes. But, really now, how desperately do you need to be high? I’ve taken more than five joints off of one guy, ONE FRIGGIN’GUY! If you don’t want to remember the concert that badly, don’t go! Stay home, smoke a bowl, order a pizza, get some Funyuns, Cheetos, Doritos, and burritos. And water… a whole lot of water. Or, you can smoke a lot right before you get there and leave your stash at home; I don’t care. But know in advance that I’ll take it if I find it. No, I’m not a narc, and no it’s not for myself. I’m just doing my job. Deal with it sucka!

C. Don’t wear chains or spikes.
So you think you’re pretty cool with all that bling don’t ya? Congratulations, you look like a toolbag (Sorry, DJ)! Can’t have that either, and this is to my personal benefit, which I will get to in part two.

D. Please shower and wear clean clothes, for once.
If you reek of sweat, welfare, and Steel Reserve and you haven’t even entered the sweaty mass of grossness yet, I really wouldn't want to be around your funk once you leave. Patting down means I have to physically put my hands on you, and if they keep sliding off (even with my gloves on) it's time to have a nice long look in mirror, which incidentally you have in your bathroom, right next to the shower.

Stay tuned for Part 2!

Episode 15 - Joe's Making Sounds Like a Zombie

It's another LSQ Double Feature as the guys (and special guest Slapjack Johnson) get together to talk about The Crazies and Cop Out and learn the difference between blood-bourne and water-bourne viruses, try to join the '14 U.S. curling team, have some unanswered questions about pregnancy, get weirded out by a pool, debate the role of poachers in an anarchic setting, figure out just how big of a bomb you'd need to wipe a town off the map, and work on our Kevin Costner impressions while Schwez takes some unnecessary risks just to look cool, Hey Zeus learns his directions, Joe wonders how to spell "civilian", and Cory rages against Hollywood for trying to make Iowa southern.

We here at The LSQ Movie Review were saddened to learn of the untimely death of fellow podcaster Andrew Koenig of Never Not Funny. If you'd like to make a donation in Andrew's name, please visit U.S. Campaign for Burma or visit http://www.pardcast.com for more information. You can also help support the Never Not Funny family by subscribing to the free feed through iTunes or with a paid subscription. Koenig was a special part of the podcast community and he will be missed.

3:31 - Andrew Koenig Tribute
10:27 - The Crazies
48:45 - Cop Out

Thanks to this week's sponsor Prescott Pharmaceuticals. Visit their site for more information.

You can e-mail the show at lsqpodcast@gmail.com, follow us on Twitter at @LSQPodcast, and read our blog at lsqpodcast.blogspot.com.

Theme song:
New Found Glory - King of Wishful Thinking

Opening song:
Keane - A Bad Dream

LSQ's 5-Minute Fridays: Mar. 5, 2010

On this minicast from the LSQ Movie Review, Anne Shorter makes a lifelong enemy of Hey Zeus. Meanwhile, Cory and Schwez once again bring up their favorite movies to talk about instead of the actual topic (Piranha 3-D and Speed Racer, respectively), and Joe and Cory become lightning brothers, and finally, the LSCrew picks between Alice in Wonderland and Brooklyn's Finest.