I don’t know if everyone does this but I consider myself a gentleman. If regressed back to that fancy boring time of tea parties and laughing gaily at the queer jokes Mr. Sebastian VanPiffendower is making while the men jostle for dominance during a rousing game of Croquet, one thing is most assuredly clear. It will take less than 10 seconds to inadvertently insult someone, get challenged to a duel and then get ‘bested’ by Benjamin Sourbushpants because all I know about sword fighting is what I watched from Zorro. (Note: I find swinging my sword wildly while trying to run away in the opposite direction, while a legitimate strategy, will not win you duels)No sir, I am not talking about that kind of gentleman; I am all 21st century man. So naturally, one of the only ways to show case my charm, whit and manners – besides on the podcast – is to attempt to hold the door open for not just women but men as well. I consider myself an equal opportunity kind of chap and make no distinctions between genders when manners are being tolled out. Now, I don’t mind if the person I am holding the door open for doesn’t thank me; it’s cool, I understand, sometimes that can lead to awkward situations. Maybe the guy that’s holding the door for you is a creep and you're with this new girl you like. You innocently say thank you and now this guy thinks you’re his new best friend and confesses that he tries to ‘enjoy’ a little boy per month but that the cops around the mall are getting stricter security lately so he’s not sure how long the ‘good times’ will last. Now your lady friend thinks the only reason this guys is talking to you about this is because he’s probably a good close friend of yours and she scrams. I get it, it’s a phobia, we all have them so don’t feel obligated to initiate any type of communication because odds are I’m right smack in the middle of having an episode over one of my phobias about you.
Like I said, I’m polite but it doesn’t mean I have to be friendly. What I think is messed up is when someone doesn’t respect the ‘door open’. I have things to do, I have places to go, and holding this door open eats about 2-4 seconds off of my life. That’s 2-4 seconds of my life that I’m slicing off of myself and then handing to someone on a silver platter with a smile. So maybe they could respect my choice to share my life with them. I hold the door open for this person today and instead of taking advantage of a completely open door, they turn to the door right next to it, open it and walk right through. - COMPLETELY IGNORING ME – I think by street rules that’s a disrespect that results in some caps being thrown out in to some asses. The person literally chose to exert more energy to step to the side, open the other door and walk through it then just take advantage of an easily accessible open one.
Luckily for that person, I’m a gentleman and I swallowed my words and let them continue on their way uninterrupted. Of course, I’m also not looking to get an ass pounding just because I was rude to someone while trying to be polite. Those kinds of oxymorons won’t get you anywhere. It’s about manners but it’s also about self preservation.
~Schwez
- We just got done taping Episode 2 and we are all now patiently waiting for HeyZeus to hack it to bits and pour it out for everyone to enjoy. I would love to speculate on when it will be released but its a well known fact that my technological savvy is lacking. I'm not on the Crew because of my intelligence, its my rugged good looks. Look for it to come out soon -
